I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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