Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
