did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
