Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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