This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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