so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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