i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
