those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
