Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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