im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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