So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
