I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
