so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
