mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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