We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
