I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
