his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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