i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
