After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have already put on my inside pants.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
