Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
