Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Say something about gay babies.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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