You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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