guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
