It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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