I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
