i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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