maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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