The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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