come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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