update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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