Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
