i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
