Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
