3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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