gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
