I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if only i could text you this smell
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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