Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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