I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
