census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
