so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
barbara walters just said penis...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
