you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
