Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
