Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality

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(410): View more from Maryland

it was a mass text i'm sorry

(603): View more from New Hampshire

do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?

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(347): View more from New York

alright she left, finally time to fart up the room

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(845): View more from New York

What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...

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(450): View more from Quebec

I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...

(450): View more from Quebec

On that note, do I have a rule?

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(251): View more from Alabama

you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account

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(773): View more from Illinois

I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.

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(303): View more from Colorado

that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.

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