these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize