Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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