One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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