zippers are such a cool invention
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
