Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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