He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
bring money and cleavage
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
