i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
