i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
