I'm going to jail i love you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
