listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We got so high we made milksteak
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
