it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
