There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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