The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
