just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
