Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
