the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
