that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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