What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
