is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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