Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
